Marytale
Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
28 jokes
A knock knock joke is the first joke most children ever tell on purpose, and there is a reason for that: it comes with its own script. The child does not have to remember how a joke goes — the joke tells them. Knock knock. Who's there? And off it runs, on rails, until the punchline.
All 28 here are clean. Most are classics that children have been telling each other for generations, and a few are ours. They work best from about four, which is when a child discovers that one word can mean two things — a discovery so exciting it is worth roughly four hundred retellings of the same joke.
Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?
Show the punchline
Lettuce in, it's freezing out here!
Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who?
Show the punchline
Olive right next door, you know that
Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who?
Show the punchline
Don't cry, it's only a joke
Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh—
Show the punchline
MOOOO!
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who?
Show the punchline
No they don't. Cows go moo
Knock knock. Who's there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who?
Show the punchline
Wooden shoe like to know
Knock knock. Who's there? Needle. Needle who?
Show the punchline
Needle little help getting this door open
Knock knock. Who's there? Honey bee. Honey bee who?
Show the punchline
Honey bee a dear and open up
Knock knock. Who's there? Dozen. Dozen who?
Show the punchline
Dozen anybody want to let me in?
Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who?
Show the punchline
No thanks, I'd rather have a peanut
Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who?
Show the punchline
W. H. O.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who?
Show the punchline
Never mind, it's pointless
Knock knock. Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who?
Show the punchline
Ketchup with me and I'll tell you
Knock knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who?
Show the punchline
Snow use, I've forgotten the rest
Knock knock. Who's there? Woo. Woo who?
Show the punchline
Don't get so excited, it's just a joke
Knock knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who?
Show the punchline
Alpaca the suitcase, you get the snacks
Knock knock. Who's there? Turnip. Turnip who?
Show the punchline
Turnip the music, this is my favorite song
Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who?
Show the punchline
Car go beep beep
Knock knock. Who's there? Goat. Goat who?
Show the punchline
Goat to the door and find out
Knock knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who?
Show the punchline
No bell, that's why I knocked
Knock knock. Who's there? Anita. Anita who?
Show the punchline
Anita drink of water, I've been knocking for hours
Knock knock. Who's there? Iguana. Iguana who?
Show the punchline
Iguana hold your hand
Knock knock. Who's there? Pasta. Pasta who?
Show the punchline
Pasta salt, please
Knock knock. Who's there? Beets. Beets who?
Show the punchline
Beets me, I only work here
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who?
Show the punchline
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?
Show the punchline
Bless you! Cover your mouth next time
Knock knock. Who's there? Somebody very short. Somebody very short who?
Show the punchline
Somebody very short who can't reach the doorbell
Knock knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who?
Show the punchline
Yes. Yes they do
How to tell them
There is a thing worth teaching once and it makes every knock knock joke land better: the child has to WAIT. The whole joke depends on you saying “Who's there?” and then “Lettuce who?”, and a small child who is excited will usually skip straight to the punchline and then be disappointed that nobody laughed. So do it slowly the first few times, and make them do your half as well, so they feel where the gaps go. The second thing is that a knock knock joke is a door joke, and it is ten times funnier if there is an actual door. Stand on opposite sides of one. Knock properly. And when a four-year-old invents one that makes no sense at all — “Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana chair!” — laugh at it anyway, because the nonsense stage is not a mistake, it is how the sense arrives.
After the jokes, a story: illustrated bedtime stories on Marytale
Riddles
Knock knock jokes are a playground tradition that belongs to everyone. Most of these 28 are classics that Marytale chose and reworded for children aged 4 to 9; a few are our own.