Animal Jokes for Kids

20 jokes

Animal jokes are the easiest ones for a child to remember, and it is not because animals are funny. It is because the child already has the picture. A joke about a penguin arrives with a penguin already standing in the room, so the only new thing to hold on to is the punchline.

These 20 are ours, and they are the ones to reach for in a car, a queue or a waiting room — no props, no setup, and every single one is about something a five-year-old can picture instantly.

What do you call a snail on a ship?
Show the punchline
A snailor
Why don't penguins fly?
Show the punchline
They're too short to be pilots
What do you call a fly with no wings?
Show the punchline
A walk
Why did the sheep go to the gym?
Show the punchline
To get in shape for the wool-ympics
What do owls say when they're confused?
Show the punchline
Whooo knows
Why don't leopards play hide and seek?
Show the punchline
Because they're always spotted
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Show the punchline
A pork chop
Why did the crab never share?
Show the punchline
Because it's shellfish
What's a frog's favourite drink?
Show the punchline
Croak-a-cola
Why are fish so clever?
Show the punchline
They live in schools
What do you call a cold dog?
Show the punchline
A pupsicle
Why did the chicken join a band?
Show the punchline
Because it had the drumsticks
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Show the punchline
Bugs Bunny
How do you know a giraffe is happy?
Show the punchline
It sticks its neck out
What do you call an alligator in a waistcoat?
Show the punchline
An investigator
Why can't a kangaroo be your friend?
Show the punchline
They're always jumping to conclusions
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
Show the punchline
A milkshake
Why did the octopus blush?
Show the punchline
Because it saw the bottom of the ocean
What does a tortoise do on its birthday?
Show the punchline
It shell-ebrates
Why do hens lay eggs?
Show the punchline
If they dropped them they'd break

How to tell them

Animal jokes are the best ones for the game that actually teaches a child to be funny: swap the animal. Take «What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer» and ask what you would call a sleeping cow, a sleeping snail, a sleeping dad. Most answers will be nonsense. Two or three will be genuinely good, and the child will have discovered the machine behind the joke rather than just memorising the output. A second thing worth knowing: children under about seven tend to laugh hardest at the animal doing something ordinary and human — a cow going upstairs, a duck getting good marks — and only later at the clever sound-alike. If a joke here lands flat, it is usually not the wrong joke, it is the wrong year. Put it away and try it again next summer.

More jokes

After the jokes, a story: illustrated bedtime stories on Marytale →

All 20 animal jokes on this page are written by Marytale for children aged 5 to 10. None is copied from another collection.